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How to Recognize Emotional Abuse in Relationships

Do you sometimes feel like you are responsible for all of your partner's behavior in your relationship? Does your spouse make you feel like everything he does is because you made him do it? Relationships like this are where a person is told “Well, if you wouldn't act so stupid, then I wouldn't have to point that out to you.” and many other things that make them feel responsible for the anger their spouse shows towards them. This is considered emotional abuse and unlike physical abuse, this kind of abuse goes unnoticed by everyone. Some experts even consider emotional abuse more dangerous and longer lasting that physical abuse. Here are the signs that you might be emotionally abused in your relationship.

Do you feel diminished in private all the time by all of your spouse's criticism? Do you notice how charming and accommodating your spouse is in public but not to you? This is especially true around all of your friends and family members. So, when you go to a friend or a family member they think you are imagining it or just trying to start some sort of conflict that is unwarranted.

Do you feel humiliated by all of your spouse's public revelations of all of your private matters or gives out all of your shortcomings in public? Do you also feel like you are always the one that is the brunt of all the jokes?

Does your spouse also go around withholding their affection, approval and their attention? This is a message that they are trying to tell you that you simply are not worthy and this treatment will erode away all of your self esteem in the end.

Your spouse will always threaten to leave you if you don't try to do better and then you will become increasingly more anxious about what it is that you might do unwittingly that is going to drive them away if you don't do whatever it is that you need to do to make things better.

Do you notice that all of your personal concerns and complaints are just simply dismissed as if they were not important at all? One common thing said might be “Can't you take a joke?” or “Why do you such a big deal out of everything?” This is trying to make you feel that everything you are concerned about is not important.

Do you feel like you are always walking on eggshells because you are afraid that anything you say or do is going to upset your spouse? This is going to make you continually focus constantly on their needs and completely ignore your own needs.

All of this can and does lead to you having panic attacks, anxiety attacks, you probably feel depressed and are also suffering from ongoing health issues as well. All of this is considered emotional abuse and it's your relationship that is making you sick emotionally and physically.

Final Note: If you can relate to any of the abuse listed above you are more than likely being emotionally abused and you need to seek help. You should also consider reaching out and find some counseling and a support group. You can even join one online if you can't find one right away in your area.


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The Seven Steps to Having Healthy Relationships

No matter what kind of relationship you are trying to build, it's always important that we have healthy relationships with the people that we deal with in our daily lives. When it comes to two individuals that live together such as a husband and wife, it's a relationship that should be full of love and mutual respect for one another. However, you can only have a healthy relationship when each person takes care of themselves first, which then will help them both take care of each other.

Communication with each other is very important. You need to talk often and let your feelings and opinions be known to one another. This is not only going to help both of you see how you each are feeling but it's also going to help you get across some confusing emotions that you also might have.

Learn to listen. You really need to take the time to listen to each other. By taking time out to try and understand each others perspectives is going to help immensely. You need to listen intently and ask a lot of questions. This will communicate to your spouse that you really do care about their feelings and the subject manner your spouse is talking about.

Make sure to check on your relationship every so often. You don't want to end up being overly concerned about maintaining your relationship but you do want to do a checkup on it occasional. Make sure to ask your spouse about the relationship and how they think things are going. This will help both of you see how one another feels about certain things in your relationship.

Make sure to resolve your conflicts at the right times. You might be tempted to handle the problems right away out of fear that they might even get worse if you don't. But, that isn't always the best thing to do. Sometimes it might be better to wait a little bit until both of you have cooled off some. When you are cooled off you will be able to talk more rationally and find a good solution to the problem.

Make sure that your lifestyle is balanced. If you are in a new relationship you might find it very tempting to spend all of your spare time with your spouse, but this is not healthy. You need to make sure that you have a good balance of friends and family. This holds true even for those who have been married for years. If your life becomes imbalanced you might start beginning to blame your spouse for all of your problems and this can hurt your relationship greatly.

Always allow for your relationship to grow as well as change. Everyone changes, all the time and to have a healthy relationship you can change together and always be mindful of the feelings that you both have. You need to be open to change and think of ways that you can actually make the changes together.

Finally always be willing to accept all of your differences and let those differences actually strengthen the relationship that you have. Never think of your differences as problems or issues, but instead look at them as opportunities for the two of you to be with someone who is going to bring you out of your own comfort zone.


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How to Have a Long Lasting Relationship

Relationships of all kinds can be difficult at times and that's why it's important to know how to build a long lasting relationship. A long lasting relationship is something that most people dream about and sometimes couples will forget to put their relationship ahead of other things. Work, family, personal problems and finances will sometimes get in the way. But, it doesn't have to be that way. Try following the tips below to help build your long lasting relationship.

First and foremost you need to make some time for each other. This means going out with friends, going out alone, going to a sporting event, a social function or just cuddling on the sofa. People sometimes tend to forget about spending time together, so it's important to relax and share time together with your partner no matter how bad a day you may have had earlier.

You need to reach out and touch your partner. This is extremely important in a relationship, affection and showing love to one another. You should do this when they might least expect it, reach out, and give them a kiss or a hug. This should be spontaneous and you should do it often.

Let your partner know just how lucky you feel to have them in your life. We sometimes forget to let each other know how important our partners are in our lives and this is something that really should be done. Express how much you love them and how much you care about them being part of your life.

Make sure to always be willing to give your partner space when it's needed. We all need time together but we also find that there are times when we really need to have our own space and our own time alone. Sometimes we just need some time to refresh our minds, so it's important that you respect your partner's desire to have some time of their own.

If you are having a rough time of it, try to start over. If you do this you might be able to gain some new feelings within your relationship. You also need to be able to forgive each other and to let go of past hurts in order to keep your relationship going. So make amends and then wipe the slate clean and begin all over again as if you were just starting to date each other for the first time.

Whatever you do, don't show signs of jealousy over things your partner might do, such as wanting to hang out with his or her friends without you, after all there are times that you probably want to be able to do the same thing. Always show that you trust them and they will do the same with you.


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How to Build a Good Email Relationship

In today's world with all the technology, relationships have changed to some extent. With being able to meet people from all over the world simply through different networking sites and websites, you can easily find people that you might be able to become email friends with. Building a relationship through emails will allow for feelings to develop especially between a man and a woman without the heavy pressure of dating and the rewards of getting to know someone better and will still be present.

Having an email relationship with someone is probably the equivalent of being pen pals back in the day when that was something common. This doesn't mean going through an eDating service, although some can find lasting friendships in this manner, it means that you discover a possible friend via different Internet avenues. Even though email relationships might seem to be safe, you still need to be very, very careful.

After you realize that you may be forming a friendship via email, always remind yourself just how easy it is even for you to exaggerate things about yourself when you are not face to face with a person. If it's easy for you, realize that it's probably just as easy for the other person. So, it's vital that you be as honest as you can, be yourself, be friendly and don't try to pretend to be someone you aren't. The wrong idea can also be read into emails so it's always a very good idea to include icons and emotiocons to help better convey your true meaning behind your email statements. Any simple phrase can be taken in the wrong manner and even out of context if you aren't careful. Also, never think even a little white lie is OK, because it's not.

When emailing someone, always make sure to respond back to them in a timely manner. It can come off as being rude to wait to respond for too many days. You should also make sure to try and keep your replies cute as well as entertaining and try and answer all questions or comments that you feel comfortable answering. If you don't feel comfortable answering a certain question, then be honest and tell them so. If at any point in time the emails start to make you feel really uncomfortable then this is the first sign that you need to end the relationship.

Make sure to include lots of photos in your emails, of yourself, the area you live in, your pets anything that is in good taste can be sent in order to help your email friend feel closer to you. You definitely need to be tasteful in any of the photos that you might send.

Some day, the question will come up about meeting each other. This can be the hardest part about an email relationship. Unless they live relatively close distance alone could be a problem. If you can afford to fly out and meet the person this could be a great experience. You just should make sure that if you do something like this that you bring someone along with you.


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How to Maintain a Healthy Christian Relationship

No matter who you are or what your beliefs are, relationships can be tough. Sometimes it simply can be a difficult thing to live with another person day in and day out because of all of our human imperfections. This is true even in a Christian relationship. Here are some guidelines on how to maintain a healthy Christian relationship.

The very most important thing that you need to do in your relationship is to always make sure that you put God first. Yes, it seems the obvious thing to do for any Christian couple but sometimes you can get caught up in the thrill of the relationship, especially if it's a new one that you sometimes might leave God behind without realizing it. So make sure that you pray together, read the Bible together as you are establishing your relationship as well as during your relationship.

Make sure that you have standards set in your relationship. You should try to set physical standards if you are just dating and aren't married. Of course this is difficult but you really need to be honest and specific about your standards within your relationship. Be honest with each other with what you will and will not do. If there are issues you are struggling with then make sure to sit down and talk about them and work through them. There is no shame in struggling and it's a lot easier if you work it out together and not individually.

Always be honest in your relationship. You need to be honest with each other and you need to also be honest with God and you need to hold each other accountable as partners in the relationship. Yes, a romantic relationship is exciting and thrilling but it is also something that makes you become more open, more vulnerable and it gives you the opportunity to love someone deeper than you ever have before.

Make sure to talk about important things in your lives. Don't just talk about the movies you seen or enjoy or the music you like and where you want to go on vacation. You need to talk about your own relationship with God, what your core values are, what your idea of a great future is, your struggles you've had in your past and so on. Make sure to talk about things that are important to you, the things that define who you are and allow them to do the same thing.

Don't isolate yourselves as a couple. Make sure to do things with your friends and with your family members. Sure it's a good thing to have time alone together but, this can cause potential problems and this is why you need to branch out and include friends and family members.

At some point in the relationship you are going to have to figure out where the relationship is going. You need to figure out if it's serious and might lead to marriage or if it's nice and fun but you don't see it going anywhere. If you don't see it going anywhere then it's not fair to the other person to keep the relationship going. If it is more serious then you should start thinking about what the next steps are going to be in the relationship.

And again, put God first. Yes it's listed at the top but it should also be listed here again because throughout the entire relationship you are going to have a continual need for God to be present. It is just way too easy to get distracted with other things. So remember to spend time with God, pray and read the Bible. The wisdom from the Bible will serve your relationship good.


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7 Steps For a Healthy Relationship

Healthy relationships involve two people who love and respect each other. A good healthy relationship is one where each individual takes care of themselves and in turn takes care of each other. This is done through communication and many other things that will lead to a healthy and good quality relationship that should withstand just about anything that is thrown in it's path. Below are seven easy steps to maintaining a healthy relationship.
  • Communication – You need to communicate with each other. You need to talk to each other often and let each other know your feelings and opinions about each other. This not only helps you see how you both feel but it could help you express some confusing emotions that you might be having.
  • Listening – You must be willing to listen to each other. You need to take the time to try and understand the other person's side of things or perspective on things. You need to listen intently to them and make sure to always ask plenty of questions. This will communicate to your partner that you really do care about what they are talking about.
  • Relationship Checkups – You should make sure to check on your relationship every once and awhile. You sure don't want to become overly concerned about maintaining it but you also don't want to let it go either. So make sure that every once and awhile you ask your partner how they think the relationship is and how they think things are going. This can really help you see just how the two of you feel about the different stages that all relationships go through.
  • Resolve Conflicts – You should always make sure that if there are conflicts that they are resolved at the appropriate time. You might be really tempted to take care of the problems right away just out of the fear that something worse might happen. But, sometimes it's actually a lot better if you wait until you both have cooled off before you do anything. It's better to wait for a time when you both can sit down and talk about the issue or issues on a more rational level.
  • Balanced Lifestyle – Especially in brand new relationships it can be very tempting to spend every minute of the day with your partner. However, it's not a healthy thing to do and you really do need to maintain a very good balance of family, friends and time with your partner. When your life becomes out of balance you may end up blaming your partner for the problems and this is simply going to hurt your relationship. Balance between your partner, friends and family is going to generally keep you pretty level headed. Besides, it is very important that you both also have your own space for the relationship to grow.
  • Let There Be Growth & Change – Everyone changes, especially with time, you need to accept this. This means that you can change together and keep each others feelings in mind when there are changes. You need to be open to change and make sure to try and think of ways in which you can change together as a couple. A simple example of this would be if your partner starts up a new hobby do your best to support them in this, even ask them if you can join them in the same hobby.
  • Accept Differences – Everyone is different and there is no getting around this. So, the best thing that you can do is to simply accept each others differences and allow those differences to strengthen your relationship. Never view your differences as problems, instead view them as opportunities for you to be with someone who might be able to bring you out of your own comfort zone. Often differences can bring out the best in people instead of becoming problems.


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Why Communication is Important in Relationships

No matter what kind of relationship it might be, friends, business or romantic, communication is key to making any relationship successful. It's the main key to making sure that a relationship is healthy and successful. It will help any relationship grow to a much deeper level and it also will build trust between those that are involved in that relationship. This is especially true for couples. Couples that know how to communicate on a daily basis are going to automatically have good relationships and they are going to understand each other a lot better. If you follow the suggestions below on how to build stronger communication with your partner or even friend you will find how much easier it will be to have a good relationship.

Whenever you are talking to someone in a relationship you really need to look into their eyes when you are talking with them. This is extremely important because it makes them feel like you are really and truly listening to them and actually connecting with them on a more personal level.

You also need to make sure that you really do listen attentively. You need to show you are listening and that you really do understand what they are saying to you. As a couple you need to take the time to really listen to each other. When you end up doing this, you will discover that you will end up having a lot less communication issues that might cause arguments down the road.

You also need to be able to express and show your appreciation. You should tell them just how lucky that you feel to have them in your life and this even is good for friendships. Let them know how much you appreciate what they do for you and the things they do to help make the relationship work better and make sure that you tell them that you love them.

Another good thing to do is to ask them want they want and need and what you can do to try and do this for them. Remember, any good relationship is a going to be traveling on a two way street and not a one way street. If you take the time to ask what they need in the relationship then you are going to feel a lot more connected to them. Understand that no one is a mind reader and they need to know that as well.

Compromise. You must learn to compromise with one another. If one of you wants to go to the movies and the other one wants to watch a football game instead then do them both. Go to a movie on one night and watch the game together on the other night. Be honest, keep talking and always speak openly.

The more honest you are about your feelings with each other the more the two of you are going to get out of your relationship. You also need to make sure that you show each other affection when you are trying to communicate. Hold hands when talking or snuggle up close to each other on the sofa when you are talking. This helps to keep the spark going as well.


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How to Rebuild Trust in Relationships

One of the most important things in relationships even today, is trust. Without having trust in a relationship, there is no doubt that failure of the relationship is soon to follow. If you have trust in a relationship it is going to give you peace and calmness that will lead to security and a feeling of satisfaction. However, if the trust is broken, what can you do to rebuild that trust? Below are a few tips on how to try and mend a relationship where trust has been broken.

The first thing you need to realize that that by simply telling the person to trust you again, especially if you have broken their heart is not going to be enough for them to trust you again. In order for your words to have any meaning, you need to make sure that your actions are going to work in harmony with those words. This more than likely means you are going to have to give up a little more than before. If the person and the relationship truly means something to you then you will be more than happy to sacrifice.

You must tell the truth at all times. You may discover that you have fallen into a pattern of lying just to cover up all of your wrong doing. If you continue down this kind of a road it's not going to do you or the relationship any good. When you are asked something you need to be as truthful in your answer as you possibly can be. Even if the truth doesn't meet with their approval, it's the only way in which you are going to be able to rebuild the trust back up in your relationship.

Make sure to let go of all your secrecy. It's simply not worth continuing to keep secrets from your spouse or partner and it simply takes a lot of effort to keep them from coming to the surface anyway. Just remember that a secret will kill trust, and when the trust dies so will your relationship, plain and simple.

You need to make a safety net. You need to create an environment for your spouse or partner that will make them feel safe when they are around you. Make every effort to let them know who you really are so they feel as if they know your true character. This will make them feel safe because they know how you will react to different things and different feelings. When they know this beforehand, your different behaviors then they will understand to back off for awhile.

You should also ask questions. When you try to rebuild trust and you are not sure how to handle a situation you should ask them how they feel. One of the worst things that you can do is to just go ahead and assume you know how someone feels and just handle the matter yourself. You should listen carefully to the things they have to say and try and agree on an outcome.


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